When I graduated college and moved to San Diego I was nieve about the job search reality.
I figured that I would spend a few weeks relaxing, playing tourist in my new city and then spend a few weeks looking for a job before settling into my new career.
But then the job search reality hit hard and I realized how wrong I could be. It’s been almost 10 months since I graduated, 9 months since we moved to San Diego and probably about 7 months since I really started pursuing a job seriously and I am still here looking for full-time work.
For those of you who are wondering, I freelance and contract work as well as having some of the most supportive people in the world around me that have helped me as I’ve tried to figure it out. It hasn’t been easy, facing the rejection of over 200 application and probably over 50 interviews in that time.
That feeling of excitement that would hit after each one, thinking the interview went so well, thinking I had found the one, and then the disappointment when I wouldn’t hear back or get the rejection email. And even worse were those ones where you made it into almost all the way to the end of the process only to be let down.
It has taught me more about myself than maybe any other experience in my life. It has taught me that what I want more than anything is to work for myself, to build this blog and brand into something that I can use to achieve my dreams.
What I thought I wanted to pursue as a career outside of this dream of mine, wasn’t actually what I was interested in. I spent the final months of my college career working towards being able to start a career in PR, but as I started interviewing for jobs in that field I realized that maybe my interests were more specific.
I have learned that I love social media and copywriting more than anything. It hasn’t been a vacation by any means. And while I myself have sometimes looked at this way I’ve been far more productive with chasing a dream and finding myself than I ever have been.
But still, I’ve been chasing away the demons of failure, inadequacy and of feeling like a waste. College was a waste because it didn’t get me further in life than others I knew who hadn’t finished yet or never got a degree. I was beating myself up to the point where there were days when I didn’t feel like getting out of bed or doing anything.
And yes, I know it sounds like depression and in many ways it was. It still is. The hope of success always seems just out of reach, as I get my hopes up with every hit on my resume, every office I walked into and felt the disappointment when one after another didn’t pan out.
Social media didn’t help. People constantly announcing new jobs, grad schools, or promotions. Everyone moving forward while I had a strange feeling of standing still. And at the end of the day, I was struggling behind closed doors.
And yet, as I had no option I kept pushing forward. I keep pushing forward because it’s not over. But no long ago I came across something that made me realize that maybe things aren’t as hopeless as I once thought. Nothing in life is permanent because time never stops moving.
The job search reality is that it might seem hopeless and endless sometimes but nothing in life is ever set in stone because time never stops moving and with that so to do we. We put one foot in front of another and we push back, we keep fighting with whatever struggle we get faced with and that’s how we find success.
San Diego is one of the hardest cities in the country to find a job in. But then again I’ve never done anything the easy way. So the hope is that once I find the job and I build my career here it will be worth it. That all of the waiting and struggling will be because there was something specific out here, that was just waiting for us to find our way to each other.
I know I’m not the only one fighting with this particular demon. So remember, that if you are going through hell, keep going, one foot in front of the other, and all those other cliches because there is some truth to them. That’s not saying that the depression and rough thoughts won’t get to you sometimes, that there won’t be bad days because there will be and that’s okay.
Contrary to popular belief you are allowed to have moments of weakness and even as I am sitting here writing this I have to learn to think about my own situation. I have to have faith in the fact that there is some kind of plan. And there is.
We can’t all be gifted to walk through life on an easy road paved with open doors. Though there will be stretches for all of us that feel this way there will also be times when every door slams shut and we feel like there is no opportunity coming our way. But in a year or 5 when I am exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I want to be doing I’m going to be thankful for this moment, for these moments where I was forced to face all of this.
I will find a job. I will start my career and while I hope it will be soon. I know that in the end, it is all happening for a reason. And this is the job search reality. The competition is fierce, but then again, so am I, for more fierce and strong that I tend to remember sometimes.
Thank you all guys for reading and I hope this helps some of you struggling with a similar situation. If you are looking for some more inspiration on how to stay positive during the job hunt go check out my post about it here!
Be sure to follow me on social media to keep up with everything going on and tune in on Friday for my first Fashion Friday post!! The outfit is amazing!
Have an awesome Wednesday guys!